[ 20 APR 2015 ]

The palliative team took over and discussed the options with us. Their last choice was to sedate her because that basically means that we would not be able to have any ‘normal’ conversation anymore.

But it was the most comfortable way for her, and that was what we wanted most.

By now, she had stopped eating totally and her respiratory rate was down to around 12.

Personal Project

Mom

The Final Days

[ 02 APR 2015 ]

March was a relatively good month for us as Mom’s condition stabilized.

All of us managed to get some breathers and to get back to our regular routines. I also took fewer images during that period.

On April 2, just as my photojournalism class was about to start, I received a text message from my eldest sister to call. I knew instinctively that something was not right.

Within an hour, Mom was rushed to SGH for breathlessness.

The stay this time was slightly more than three weeks, with close to one week in ICU.

I couldn’t bring myself to make any pictures of her for the next 12 days.

[ 20 APR 2015 ]

Dad’s cousin, Auntie Hong, visited today. Because of her poor health, relatives took a long time to inform her of Mom’s hospitalization.

As a kid, I used to accompany Mom to her house along the Kallang River, near the old Kallang Gasworks. The trips were fun because Mom was always there for a ‘bad’ reason – to play cards with Auntie Hong and friends, and I had to keep that a secret from Dad because he didn’t want her to be gambling until we grew up.

Auntie’s son was diagnosed with cancer recently and passed away within three weeks, so the wounds are still fresh for her. She has two daughters, and the older one, cousin Yan, lives in New Jersey.

[ 21 APR 2015 ]

Nur, my sister’s domestic helper who joined our family just weeks before Mom fell ill, giving her a leg massage.

[ 22 APR 2015 ]

On some nights that we couldn’t cope, Nur will take the night shift and watch over Mom, just like a family member. Otherwise, her main duty has been looking after my nephew.

[ 23 APR 2015 ]

It was just past midnight, Uncle Peng, his wife, and children came to bless Mom. They all live across from Mom’s block and in the same block as my sister. When I got married years ago, Uncle Peng stood in for my late father.

[ 23 APR 2015 ]

Mom with my brother, my cousin, my aunt and my eldest sister. My cousin Joanne and her husband Jerome were everywhere to be found in the past three months. From ferrying us to and fro from SGH, to patching my sister’s punctured tire, they were there.

[ 23 APR 2015 ]

A friend told my eldest sister that it would help Mom to breathe better if she pulled her legs this way. It really reminded me on our paternal grandma used a sharp object to poke at my late father’s legs in order to ‘redirect’ his pain.

[ 23 APR 2015 ]

Dad’s two sister joined my brother and a pastor he invited in a song and prayer for Mom.

[ 23 APR 2015 ]

I don’t really like scenes like this, but I’ve learned these few weeks that behind every lit-up ‘tent’ is a lot of love.