I hate this corner but yet it is also a corner of hope. This was the route the medical staff had to take whenever Mom was transferred from A&E to a ward.

I left Mom alone in the critical ward for hours because I could not deal with it myself. Every time she saw me that night, she asked me to face north or to squeeze into a corner between her bed and the wall. Nothing made sense.

A change in her medication and possible side effects of her radiation therapy caused Mom to slip into a deep slumber again and this round was a lot scarier. I was summoned to Changi Hospital the night before, and this time round, I was the one who was ‘tortured’. Compared to the last ‘altered mental state’, she was a little more violent this time, refusing to cooperate with all the medical staff. In the end, we signed the paper to have her moved to SGH, where all her files were.

Another ‘wee small hours of the morning’ admission. Thanks to Staff Nurse Ma Elma Alejandro and team for speedy help.

A change in her medication and possible side effects of her radiation therapy caused Mom to slip into a deep slumber again and this round was a lot scarier. I was summoned to Changi Hospital the night before, and this time round, I was the one who was ‘tortured’. Compared to the last ‘altered mental state’, she was a little more violent this time, refusing to cooperate with all the medical staff. In the end, we signed the paper to have her moved to SGH, where all her files were.

Mom’s position changed from clasped hands, fully stretched to the back of her head; to hands over her forehead, to just gripping the two bed posts. It was totally impossible for medical staff to draw her blood for test, something essential to check her sodium and other levels. They basically gave her time to calm down. I am really really glad that we didn’t become superstitious and to believe that she was possessed. Looking at her shaking and speaking incoherent was really really scary.

This was one of the few times that I threw in the towel. There was absolutely nothing we could do except to leave Mom in the hands of the medical staff. They were totally reluctant to sedate or knock her out because if they had done that, then they would not be able to find out exactly what happened.

I remember choosing to be ‘heartless’ and leave her at 5am. Went home to shower and then it was back to the hospital in three hours.

Mom did not wake up until about 24 hours later.